Magic Items – Five Torches Deep SRD

The following provides a list of bizarre, surreal, or otherwise interesting magic items. Many of these have been designed to dramatically alter the nature of a campaign, and don’t adhere to any sense of “balance.”

Contents

1 Ideal Campaign & Use
2 A Note On “Passwords”
3 Contents

Ideal Campaign & Use

This supplement is ideal for OSR campaigns that focus on non-combat solutions for weird and unpredictable obstacles. An entire session, adventure, or campaign could focus on finding even one of these items and using it to irrevocably change your world.

A Note On “Passwords”

Passwords are required for many of the items in the VAULT to properly function. The specifics of these PASSWORDS are left vague so that the GM can fit them into their world. However, PCs should be able to deduce the PASSWORD by identifying the magic item or through days of study.

2 Tabard, Hook, Tentacle

1. Viridian Knight’s Tabard Basics

Belted tabard, magic

Worn, attune

500 gp value, 0 load

In any forest or woodland:

Rests are safe rests
Advantage to stealth checks
Fey sense you as a beast
Others sense you as Fey

Sleeveless, knee-length tabard of coarsely woven, deep green fabric. The fabric smells of pollen and wet leaves, and is detailed with silver and black filigreed, leafless tree patterns.

Cinched with a broad, braided, black rope. The silver buckle has an etched Crowned Tree sigil.

2. Hook Of Infinite Lifting

Wood and iron hook, magic

One hand, password

6,000 gp value, 1 load

Hold, speak the password:

Use to lift a free standing item
Ignore its weight or size
It must have an edge, loop, or hole that can support its own weight and fit the hook

Hooked objects behave as if they only weigh 1 lb. Once the Hook releases them weight and inertia return to their original capacity.

Crude driftwood fashioned into a handle with a 1’ wrought iron hook screwed into it; like a tool used to snatch and toss bales of hay or drag flanks of meat. When active, the hook vibrates rapidly and makes a loud drone.

3. Monkey’s Tentacle

Tentacle grappling hook, magic

Two hands, hold

1,500 gp value, 0 load

Swing like a grappling hook:

Sticks to any point in 100’
Grappling hook end remains stuck until wielder wills it not
Swing like an agile monkey across this distance; no check

A compact coil of furred leather on the “outside,” and sticky suction cups on the “inside” like a gross hybrid of a monkey’s arm and an octopod’s tentacle.

The handle is a simple bullwhip leather braid over a bone base. The grappling end is a magically sticky, spindly claw resembling a cross of a hand and a spider.

4. Toad of Explosive Echoes

Small statue, makes noise, magic

Activates with a button

500 gp value, 0 load

When pressed, echoes loudly:

Speak/make sound into it
Statue repeats sound with increasing volume and power
Sound is repeated 1d8 times, double the volume each time

A carved bone statue pocked and cracked with brittle age. What detail there once was has been smoothed by countless erosions. Shaped as a simple toad, its vocal sac bulging out as if in mid-call. The “holes” carved for the eyes and ears are actually dense arcane runes, easy to overlook given their size and age.

5. Bowman’s Bane

3’ totem, blocks arrows, magic

Set on ground, twist to activate

3,000 gp value, 5 load

Activated: Projectiles stop in 30’:

Active action to activate
Physical projectes are deleted once within 30’ of the totem

A peculiar artifact, forged during the Dawn Sea War to protect ships from enemy barrages. The material is of its era: An unknown compound somewhere between bone, wood, and steel. A heavy cylinder, perfectly flat on one end and conical on the other. Ergonomic grooves circle the center, making it easy to twist it open. Complex, intricate innards obnoxiously vibrate and distort the air in 30’ while open.

6. Porthole Cannon

Gun that punches holes, magic

Two hands, attune

2,000 gp value, 2 load

Open and/or seal a porthole:

Active action to activate
Target an inert wall in 60’
Open/close a 1’ – 3’ wide hole that’s up to 3’ deep per shot

Hole is magically stable; wall won’t collapse on it. It is permanent until sealed by cannon.

A brass and wood cylinder full of twisting glass tubes and intricate glowing wires with a simple grip. Barrel glows a deep blue when active, emitting hot steam. Once fired the glow brightens to pink and finally intense white; the hole it opens glows and fizzles with this pinkish white energy.

HOOKS The Vaultcracker’s Guild urgently seeks the Cannon. It’s said that the dwarves of Zindlegar Barrow used these in their war against the goblins. Archivist Yunar Tremane is an expert on ancient artifacts.

7. Sand of Séance

Sand that shows murder, magic

Bag of sand, password

500 gp value, 0 load

Cast some sand in the room:

It highlights areas of death
Sand forms shapes for clues
Recent dead can use the sand to commune with the living

Clues are simple; only ghosts, shadows and vague signals.

A leather oilskin cinched with a delicate, bronze chain. The bag is marked with a brand of a crude skull, faded from the years.

The crystallized skull of a seer sacrificed to the underworld has been ground into fine granules, easy to mistake as the “sand.” Scrutiny grants the sense that the pale, salt-like crystals are more nefarious than first glance.

8. Diver’s Homunculus

Slimy slug-like construct, magic

Swallow and feed to activate

750 gp value, 0 load

Swallow it, breathe underwater:

It resists being swallowed
You must eat live fish to feed
Lasts 3d6 hours per feeding

Keep it fed or it will painfully escape through an orifice.

A creepy little cretin that looks like an octopus made of a mixture of snot and copper wires. It pulses and wriggles and slinks along, leaving a slimy trail with a distinctly metallic smell. The construct does not want to be swallowed and will actively try to escape. It is susceptible to bribery (living small fish). Once attached, its host feels buoyant and has an upset stomach.

9. The Soulforge

Duplicating barrel, magic

Needs fresh souls to operate

10,000 gp value, 2 load

Pay with a soul, copy a material:

Place 1 load of material inside
Kill a 1 HD+ creature nearby
It duplicates 1 load of material per HD of the sacrifice

Ex: Take 500 gp, kill 1 HD goblin. Emits 500 gp (1,000 gp total).

A disturbing device vaguely shaped like an hourglass. Its dual chambers are held in a dark umber material akin to boiled leather, with glass, bronze, and bone affixed to them. Each chamber’s end has a small door like a vault, with heavy metal bars and locks. The forge turns black and oozes noxious fumes while producing a copy. People feel sick holding it.

10. Smart Snare

Tripwire trap, magic

Quick action to setup, password

250 gp value, 0 load

10’ tripwire that ignores allies:

Nearly invisible trip/snare
Placed with a password
Allies of the user are immune
Breakable only by magic

A ten foot long strand of blue ribbon that when commanded with the password (an ancient word for “block”) becomes blurry and translucent, sticking easily to whatever corners, frames, or edges it can sense. Once placed, the user/their allies can detect its presence but pass through it as easily as smoke; enemies who come within range see little but a line of blurred air. It snaps with a satisfying twang whenever it ensnares its prey.

11. Liarsbreath Fly

Fly that detects lies, magic

Bottled, activates when opened

500 gp value, 0 load

Insect construct that smells lies:

Lands on who lied recently
Only detects intentional lies
Easily destroyed if caught
Returns to its bottle at will

A chunky insect construct like a large fly. Its rusty carapace is dull red and black; small copper legs and buzzing mechanical wings. It is attracted to mouths, especially deceitful ones.

The fly has an accompanying small bottle painted with waxy black sigils and spring-steel cap.

12. Artificer’s Wrench

Doughy rod, great tool, magic

Changes shape, password

3,500 gp value, 1-2 load

Magical multi-purpose tool:

Changes shape to any tool
Grants permission to attempt tasks (or gives adv/+prof)
Invents a new/perfect tool

It always knows the “best” shape to take. Limited to 3’ size and can create simple clockwork.

While inert, is a white doughy cylinder similar to unbaked bread. It stiffens to the touch and will constantly change its shape to match and pair with whatever surface or application its user touches to it. The Wrench always maintains its white color and wraps around the user’s hand in an unsettling, alien way.

13. Higby’s Huge Mallowpuff

Green walnut-sized glob, magic

Smack on surface to explode

500 gp value, 0 load

Squishy puff fills 10’ x 10’ x 10’:

Glob puffs up rapidly
Supports up to 500 lbs
Can be cut through but heals itself once it shrinks back
Shrinks/resets after 10 mins

A compact, glistening green blob flowing like blown glass. The size of a sling bullet, malleable, and tacky. Once struck, it makes the sound of straining glass on the precipice of shattering. The green blob expands into a massive buoy of dense, puffy foam-like mallow. Soft and slightly sticky, it fills whatever container or hall it’s in. After ten minutes it shrinks with a sigh.

14. Edge of Entropy

Knife that cuts anything, magic

One hand, trigger switch

3,000 gp value, 1 load

Knife that can cut anything:

Slices through any material
Deals 10 DUR damage per round
Deals 1d6 damage (dagger)

A 1” blade of negative energy. It can slice through steel, stone, magic shields, dragons, diamonds, literally any surface.

Intricately carved hilt adorned with unsettling beasts, demons, and fractal glyphs. Staring at it induces nausea and confusion. Pressing the trigger (evil glyph) emits an utterly black blade: The void of all things material and energetic. There’s a satisfying boiling sound when the blade is pressed against any surface.

15. Conniver’s Door

Card, illusory door, magic

Card turns into a door, password

1,500 gp value, 0 load

Set card down, speak password:

Card transforms into a door
Tries to fill the frame or hall
Mimics local decor, material
Opaque, solid, with handle
Limited to 20’ x 20’

It functions as best it can with a handle, hinge, and other fitting mechanisms. Speaking the password reverses the change. LOOK A simple card used in gambling halls and smoky diviner’s huts throughout the land. It’s chipped and cracked with age and use, revealing a faded painting of a simple doorway; clouded light piercing around its frame and shadowed images of trickster imps cackling in dark corners.

17. Encypter’s Chalk

Chalk that leaves secrets, magic

Draw, password to activate

100 gp value, 0 load

Marks activate with password:

Illegible without password
Wielder can “animate” any of the marks up to 30 seconds
Animated messages loop and repeat for 1d6 minutes

The chalk has a springy texture and marbled color. The material naturally congeals and mixes while in proximity to more of its own kind, like a weak magnet. When the chalk is drawn on a surface, it glimmers and glows slightly while the user commands the animation, and once “sealed” with the password looks just like random scribbles on a wall. Saying the password again makes the lines come to life and animates the secret message or drawing left.

18. CARTOGRAPHER’s Scroll

Auto-mapping scroll, magic

Two hands, attune

1,000 gp value, 1 load

Once attuned and held open:

Parchment records whatever its attuned wielder sees
Map is top-down, but based on the perception of wielder
Start/stop recording at will

The map is limited to the position of walls, floors, doors, and similar. It records in detail similar to a trained cartographer.

A double-handled 3’ scroll which folds inwards, with heavy bronze knobs affixed to ochre-colored, scratched and wrinkled vellum. Once attuned it vaguely smokes, with wisps of black ink whorling above it as it illustrates what its wielder sees ahead of them.

16. Dungeoneer’s Compass

Wayfinding homunculus, magic

Feed bat guano to activate

5,000 gp value, 1 load

Once fed guano, Compass:

Always knows a way “out”
Takes a followable path
Can’t get confused or lost
Knows “home” and “out”

It will lead its master out of any maze regardless of difficulty.

A bristled abomination like a tarantula mixed with a pinecone covered in thin needles. It has no discernible head or face, and walks in bizarre, asymmetrical patterns due to “efficiency.” It greedily rolls in any bat dung, scraping the guano onto its bristled “skin” and absorbing it with gurgling delight. It waits for direction of its master once fed, clicking while it walks.

19. Intellivore’s Pipe

Glass pipe, absorbs brain, magic

Insert intact brain into chamber

10,000 gp value, 0 load

Once fed a brain, grants wishes:

Wish’s power based off of HD of the corpse creature’s brain
Wishes are never capricious
Brain must be fresh, whole
Wielder is forever tainted

Ex: 18HD dragon’s brain recently cut can raze cities. Rotten goblin brain can manifest loaf of bread.

A profane, foul relic. Despite its mundane appearance of twisted spirals of blown glass, muted petrified wood, and simple geometric carvings, all who look upon it know that it is Evil.

The glass is stained the accumulated filth of burnt brains. Its sadistic nature is so innate that many can’t look at it.

20. Egg of Infinite Blood

Carved egg, makes blood, magic

Smash to activate, 1 use

250 gp value, 0 load

Break the egg, it gushes blood:

Gallons of blood pour out
10 gallons per round, 3d6 rds

Blood pours rather than sprays. Egg is easy to break. Blood is from a random, sentient species.

A hollow eggshell carved with an impressive diorama of a city. Upon closer scrutiny it becomes obvious that the city is full of demons torturing and flaying dozens of helpless people.

When smashed, the blood pours out in a circular pool, as if welling from whatever surface the egg was broken against. The blood pools and splatters in unholy patterns, moving unnaturally.

21. Cord of Golemenesis

Cord that makes golems, magic

Wrap around, CHA check DC 11 3,500 gp value, 0 load

Wrap around an object, will it so:

Pass: Item becomes a golem
Fail: Item melts or explodes
Any item can be converted
Golems are up to human sized
HD, mods based on materials used (rarer is higher)

Golem is intelligent and serves the wielder. It lasts 1d6 hours.

A crimson lariat intricately twined with unique patterns, knots, and twists. Both ends of its 10’ length are capped with red stone handles that resemble aberrant leering mouths. Golems are crudely humanoid, with no eyes, fingers, or mouths. Strong but lack delicacy.

22. Memory Siphon

Earpiece drains memory, magic

Worn, WIS check, 2 people

2,000 gp value, 0 load

Connect two heads by the ears:

Absorb other’s memories
Other can’t resist
WIS check or both suffer irrevocable psychic trauma

Memories aren’t shared; only the wielder absorbs the victim’s thoughts. Wielder can “search” for certain thoughts. Both users must be coherent.

Little more than a bit of sparkling jewelry, it looks like two ornate pieces of delicate platinum and peculiar garnets. Both pieces are connected by a tendril of a chain that twists in a double helix. Oddly, the chain is a few feet long and stretches easily.

23. Corpsejump Cudgel

Club, teleport to corpse, magic

One hand, simple, attune

1,500 gp value, 1 load

Teleport to last killed corpse:

Corpse must be mostly intact
Cudgel was used to kill it
Enough open space around it
Must be holding the Cudgel
Corpse is destroyed after use

Attuned wielder wishes to transfer to the location of the body the Cudgel last killed, and it is so.

Look A crude and archaic warclub. No ornaments, no marks, no paint. It seems perpetually coated in a layer of slimy viscera and chunky brainmatter, even if cleaned. Its material is difficult to discern; possibly a root of some forgotten and twisted tree or the bone of a mangled and wholly foul beast.

24. Illusion Bomb

Grenade, makes illusions, magic

Smash, 1 use

500 gp value, 0 load

Create a 30’ area of illusion:

Creatures WIS resist vs. DC 14
All senses used in the illusion
Images can be moving or still
Perfectly accurate up to the user’s knowledge/skill
Lasts 30 minutes or canceled

Allies know it’s an illusion, but are still physically affected unless they pass the WIS check (such as an illusion of a wall still looks like a wall, but the ally can walk through it like smoke).

The size of an apple, the grenade is made of delicate spun wire and clear crystal. Bright amber fluid swirls marbled light inside. The device’s cap is a carved stone image of a brain with eyes, done in accurate anatomical detail.

25. Cube of Extreme Weight

Small plate, high gravity, magic

Place on ground, password

2,500 gp value, 0 load

Create a 20’ cube of 50x gravity:

Cube is centered on the plate
Doesn’t affect structures
Impacts all who enter zone
Lasts 10 min. or canceled

Any caught in the 20’ x 20’ x 20’ area are weighted down, with each 1 lb feels like 50 lbs (a 150lb person feels like 7,500lbs). STR or other checks can be made to resist the effects, otherwise a person trapped will be crushed.

A simple graphite plate, militant in its pragmatic color and shape. Often covered with surface scratches and dings, and an interior bezel lined in red. These plates easily attach to walls.

26. Mask of Innocence

Magically cute mask, magic

Wear to activate

2,000 gp value, 0 load

When worn, the mask makes:

Wearer looks cute, innocent
Psychic effect, can’t resist
Enemies struggle to fight you
People implicitly trust you

The mask is potent, and works even in some of the more extreme uses (killing an enemy and then putting on the mask will make most who witnessed the death ignore you, or deny it).

Look A soft and supple material between suede and porcelain. Baby pink and blue, but once worn it melds into the user’s face and reshapes their look. Creatures immune to psychic effects see a grotesque mutation take place as it melds with a face.

27. Diadem of the Woodlands

Crown of flowers, magic

Worn, sing to activate

750 gp value, 0 load

A singing wearer calls animals:

Small (1HD or less) creatures
Local wildlife to the area
Creatures are tame, helpful
Wearer can talk with them

While not inherently dangerous, using the Diadem brings the attention of larger predators hunting the summoned wildlife.

An elegant ring of supple green vines and stems, covered in a cornucopia of beautiful flowers. The blossoms are always fresh, alive, and change and evolve over time with the seasons.

While worn by a singing user, the crown slowly expands and blooms with even more flowers, magically projecting and purifying the wearer’s song.

28. Shepherd’s Crook

Rod, commands wood, magic

One hand, concentrate

1,000 gp value, 1 load

Intimidates trees and wood:

Any tree or fresh-cut in 60’
Command trees to still, recoil or approach the wielder
Trees will uproot and die if commanded to multiple times
Trees wilt, decay, and take damage each use of Crook

Clear a thicket of forest, force a log palisade to collapse, or block a wooded path behind you. The trees resent and fear you.

Carved from the heartroot of an Elderwood Tree, this legendary Crook throbs with primal power and terrifying energy. Its constant, heartbeat like pulsing hints at the terrifying influence it has over all trees and wood.

29. Sac of Seeing

Sac of eyes, grants sight, magic

Hold eye in mouth to see others

1,750 gp value, 1 load

Wielder can see out the eyes:

10 eyes of different sizes
Eyes can separate, function
Eyes have a sticky stalk, can be attached to walls/objects
Wielder can consciously focus on certain eyes, more than 1 requires concentration

A fleshy, spindly, insect cocoon. This sac is the size of a human head and filled with a gory bunch of monstrous eyeballs. They twitch and wiggle due to attached stalks and nerves, staring blankly up at you. Popping any into your mouth connects you to their visual network (so long as you can tolerate the gag-inducing taste of rotten, bloody eyeball).

30. Pack M.U.L.E.

Basics Cargo homunculus, magic

Follows its master, attune

3,000 gp value, 4 load

Once attuned, holds load inside:

Holds up to 20 load
Follows master obediently and dexterously, like a goat
Only opens for master
Randomly roll 1d20 1/day; under the MULE’s load and it shuts, inert, for 1d6 hours. It can’t be opened by anyone.

Magic Utility Load Encumberers (m.u.l.e.s) are useful beasts of burden that need little. The MULE is basically a box with a dozen legs made of a springy metal; fibers and bits of copper stick out at joints and seams. A spacious interior is comprised of pocket dimensions that warp sight and chime gently.